‘I DON’T WANT TO PLAY’

Today I am writing about play and playfulness. In parenting so much harmony can be gained and so many conflicts can be avoided through playing with our kids. I will write so much more about this in future articles. 

But today I’m writing about the scenario when you just DON’T WANT TO PLAY. 

Recently my boy asked me to play a game of catches with him just as I had laid down on the couch. I really didn’t want to play. Initially some guilt rose up, that I should play with him when he asks. Then some resentment, that I have needs also. 

What came next was great. I took some deep breaths (a parent’s best resource) and I invited in a fresh option. What came to me was to give my son more information, in a fun way. I explained that the PLAY shop door had just closed for some rest time. I see there’s a sign on the door saying ‘back in 20mins’. I said that the book reading shop will be opening here soon, if he’d like to find some books to bring over. This gave my son enough information that he will be played with soon, but that he is welcome to connect with me reading in a more restful way now. Through this my needs for rest were met, and so was his need for connection. 

This is some of the essence of Aware Parenting:

Finding playful ways to connect with our children whilst meeting our own needs.

So I invite you explore this idea - when you have a big ‘I don’t want to play’ come up inside of you, I wonder if there’s a different connective option that can arise to offer to your child. So often, our children speak in code language. And beneath whatever they are asking of us, they are really saying ‘can I feel your connection with me’. 

Much love to you,

Felicity